Titties and Beer
Research: Demon and Devil War Preparation
by John DAgostino. Eccentric Outsider Artist, a.k.a. John Dog
Sistas, Niggas, Whiteys, Jews, Crackers. Don’t worry, worry, worry (echo effect). If there’s hell below, we’re ALL GONNA GO aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
from Intro to ‘The Other Side of Town’ by Curtis Mayfield
I have about 20 web sites and sub-webs. I am always searching for interesting domain names to buy. www.yourdeathisthecure.com is available. I ponder buying it, but decide let some hard core punk or goth band have the damn name instead. I’m still strategizing on demon fighting I though of a quote, a biblical bastardization, which might be even more popular than the original. Yo, thou I walk through the valley of death, I fear no evil cause I am the meanest son of a bitch in the land. The lyrics to Zappa’s Titties and Beer song floated through the air waves in my head after I typed this. I searched to see if www.titties-and-beer.com was available. A seed was germinating in my mind for a new site. EX-cell-Ant www.titties-and-beer.com is available and so is www.titties-n-beer.org What a decision to be burdened with. Help me please. Send me an e-mail, post a comment, which is best?
Notes to self- Process this Raw Data more fully later. Call Mick Jagger to see what his deal with the devil is, mix Titties and Beer Lyrics with other info gleaned from net, put my two cents in here and there. Listen to Limbomanics while writing.
Titties and Beer
by Frank Zappa
It was the blackest night There was no moon in sight You know the stars ain’t shining ‘cuz the sky’s too tight I heard the scary wind I seen some ugly trees There was a werewolf honkin’ along the side of me I’m mean and I’m bad Y’know I ain’t no sissy Got a big-titty girl by the name of Chrissy
ESHU in a bowl
So I figured I might just drink a little beer I said "Gimme summa that, what yer suckin’ on" But there was no reply, cuz’ she was gone "Where’s those titties I like so well?" (Women flash your titties now)
Eshu has a malignant side and is a Trickster diety. For that reason, in Brazil, he is associated with the Devil. In Brazil and Africa, Eshu lives outside the house, to protect the home. His energy is considered too strong to have in the house. (oops, need to put him out asap, no wonder the paint is peeling off the walls)
"An’ my goddamn beer," is what I started to yell. Then I heard this noise, like a crunchin’ twig An’ up jumped the Devil, he’s about this big He had a red suit on an’ a widow’s peak An’ a pointed tail n’ like a sulfur reek Yes, it was him, alright, I swear I knew it was He had some human flesh stuck underneath his claws You know it looked to me like it was titty skin (been there done that, yum)
Eleggua, on the other hand is Echu working under the direction of Obatala (god of balance and reason) to do good and serve the other Orisha and human kind. Eleggua’s day is Monday and devotees usually give him simple offerings, to insure that he protect the home and open the ways. Everyone tries to stay on his good side, since he can turn things around in a minute. Even the other Orisha try to stay on his good side, so that plans that are made can come to pass. (Monday Monday can’t trust that day Monday Monday sometimes it just turns out that way)
The sucker just laughed and said "Put it away You know I ate her up so watcha’ gonna say?" You ate my Chrissy? "Yeah, titties ‘n all" (Don’t cry Frank, you got 100 groupies waiting backstage)
This is the story of how the Ibeji defeated the Devil. There was a large forest that separated two villages and the Devil managed to install himself in these woods. Every time people traveled from one village to the other, they were never seen again. This is because the Devil was eating them as they tried to cross the woods. (How rude)
What about the beer then? "Well, were the cans this tall?" Even her boots? "Would I lie to you?" Shit, you musta been hungry. "Yes, this is true." Well, don’t they pay you good for the stuff that you do? "I can’t complain when the checks come through." Well, I want my Chrissy and I want my beer So you just barf it back up now, Devil, do you hear? "Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man… I am the Devil, do you understand? (This is where it really starts to get interesting in light of present world politics. In the past good and evil were clearly defined. Today, we see big evil battling bigger evil or is it vice versa.)
The Ibeji outsmarted the Devil, by going into the woods and playing the drums. The Devil, fascinated by the sounds of the drum music, followed the Ibeji out of the woods. This is the story of how the Ibeji defeated the Devil. (Get a jump on the market, call broker, buy stock in Tama and Pearl Drum companies pronto)
Just what will you give me for your titties and beer? I suppose you noticed this little contract here… "Yer goddamn right, you son-of-a-whore. That’s about the only reason I learned writin’ for. Gimme that paper Bet yer horns I’ll sign ‘Cuz I need a beer ‘n it’s titty squeezin’ time. "You can’t fool me. You ain’t that bad You shoulda seen some of the souls I had. Thee was the Ayatollah, ‘n Farwell, too ‘N both of those bastards is worse than you. "Well, let’s make a deal, if you think it’s true I mean, you’re supposed to be the Devil, so… Watcha gonna do? ( Zappa is using the old "the meanest son of a bitch in the land" gambit, good move Frank)
There is another version of this story, where the Devil was keeping the rain from falling and drought and famine was spreading over the land. When the Ibeji heard about this, they came and challenged the Devil to a dance contest. Whoever fell to the ground with exhaustion first lost the contest and had to do the winner’s will. (What no points for style. Couldn’t we have used this in Iraq instead of spending all those billions on military hardware, might have spared some bloodshed too.)
I’m only interested in two things, that’s titties and beer, you know what I mean? Titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer . . . (me too, me too, but some hot nookie would also be nice)
The Devil did not know that they were twins and thought he could easily beat the child, so he accepted the challenge. the other Ibeji hid in the bushes and would swap places with his twin brother. The dance contest went on for days, when finally the Devil fell to the ground exhausted. This is the other version of how the Ibeji defeated the Devil. (I have an identical twin brother, honestly, we used to pull that kind of shit all the time)
No! Don’t sign it! Give me time to think . . . I mean . . . Hold on a second, boy . . . ‘Cause that’s Magic Ink! (like in Magic Markers?)
Ever hear of Beer Church? Beer Church is as much an idea as it is an organization. It is based on our philosophy that people are basically good and want to help make the world a better place. The trick is to provide a way for them to do that. People like to drink beer, socialize and generally have a good time. In our human society, beer is a conduit, or catalyst, for making that happen. Find the people where they are. Have a party that benefits something worthy. As a unified association of beer drinkers our potential to affect positive social change is enormous. Be kind and giving, love one another, care about one another, and help one another. Use beer as a way to do those things. http://www.beerchurch.com/ ( a totally different approach – Love works, I love beer. Attack the roots of evil; poverty. Fight poverty, fight evil with love and money while getting fucking juiced, creativity at work there)
And then the Devil let go of his pickle ‘N out jumped m’girl They heard them titties PLOP-PLOPPIN’ All around the world, she said: (I’d be holding on to my pickle if I saw some titties Plop-Plopping)
SHE SAID - "I GOT ME THREE BEERS ‘N A FIST FULLA DOWNS, AN’ I’M GONNA GET RIPPED, SO FUCK YOU CLOWNS!" (OMG, all this heroic evil fighting for nothing. The cunt doesn’t even appreciate it. That’s a lesson to be learned. Another thought, Could she be a symbol for mother nature I wonder?)
Single Focus Atlanta Bible Study Group has chosen to meet at a Hooters restaurant every week for the past four years. "We’ve seen a few of the waitresses become Christians. One of the former managers here became a Christian. So it’s worked. The nondenominational group invites all those who are curious to join their Hooters sessions. The group’s leader Rodgers said, "It’s something Jesus would’ve done because he looked past what people may think and looked at what people’s needs are." www.singlefocusatlanta.org (Right on Rodgers, I’m signing up, but can we try a meeting at the Naked Bunny Strip Club sometime?)
Then she gave us the finger, It was rigid ‘n stiff, That’s when the Devil, he farted An’ she went right over the cliff (Did she or did she not have that coming? You decide.)
Today’s Friendster Forecast You’ve got more bounce than a trampoline. The stars give you a triple shot of energy and verve right now. Wherever you go or whatever you do, you make it look so fun that people can’t resist following. (That’s me all the time, Mr. Happy.)
Nurse your drinks and come with me to a cyber sing along at http://www.lunacytoons.com/titties.html Life is great when you just sit back, relax, and enjoy its simple pleasures.
